Lyrics by Indi Riverflow

I’ve come to bring you good news
Go on and sign up, nothing to lose
I’m very sure you haven’t heard
The greatest story ever put to words

We’ll multiply your bread
By a factor of seven
My upline goes straight to the pyramid head
Oh yeah, the Big Guy in Heaven

I can tell you, hell
It beats selling soap
Way less overhead
Pushing slippery slopes

{Chorus}
I work for the Almighty Lord
In a multi-level marketing scheme
Come on and become
Part of the team
You catch a commission
On every soul you bring
When you close the sale
A church bell rings

{Chorus}

The Lord needs the money by noon
His credit is fully maxed
And if he doesn’t pay up soon
The mob is gonna have him whacked

Running all of creation
You know it ain’t cheap
The rising cost of damnation
Enough to make a banker weep

Sure, we’re rich in real estate
And fully tax-exempted
But the competition has sex
And even I get tempted

So the economy’s bad
You say times are too tough
Getting kicked out of your pad
Hasn’t God got it just as rough?

Evolutionists, fornicators
And groovy rock music bands
Devaluing stock indicators
Of our top-selling brand

{Chorus}

Our Boss is all-knowing
And infinitely good
You’ll break his rules
And He knew you would

His temper’s quite hot
Get out of line and you’ll burn
The Devil’s also got
Commissions to earn

{Chorus}