Betty’s Attic

By Indi Riverflow | December 9, 2012

Betty never shirked a day of work
She was the picture of the perfect clerk
She never typed off key or lost her smile
Misspelled a memo or misplaced a file

Bosses came and bosses went
She outlasted thirteen Presidents
Betty stayed and oversaw the parade
While over half a century slipped by
Mysteries mastered and history made
As she kept her eyes on the FBI

{Chorus}
Secrets of the Universe collecting dust
Up in Betty’s attic
Treasures that would test a judge’s trust
Up in Betty’s attic
A month would not be nearly enough
To tell what’s up in Betty’s attic
You wouldn’t believe even half the stuff
Up in Betty’s attic
Up in Betty’s attic
Up in Betty’s attic

{Chorus}

Betty liked to collect her own evidence
Her paranormal stash was beyond immense
She had artifacts dated centuries hence
Lamps of the djinn and Bigfoot’s big toe
Atlantean street signs and statutes that glow
Half a dozen chunks of pure Philosopher’s Stone
A fortune in uncut Kryptonite alone

Cursed Monkey’s Paws
And Loch Ness Jaws
Wizard’s wands and vampire’s fangs
Vintage vinyl from the final
Concert the Sirens sang
Six preserved pairs of angel wings
And an array of automatic boomerangs

{Chorus}

When Betty was found without a breath
Her Attic passed on to Goodwill and dispersed
What they never knew was that it wasn’t death
She had simply shifted to another Universe

So if you closely encounter something strange
Sitting on your local thrift store shelf
Search your pockets for forgotten change
Such a strange object could be long-lost loot
Your chance to try a bite of forbidden fruit
From Betty’s Attic for yourself

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